Committed to Being Non-Committal

[Our next several newsletters are packaged as a series to accommodate the scale of information involved. My journey is not the topic of our newsletters, but an example to show how success in one area of life can hide lack of progress in another.]

Thank You for Calling! Can You Hold, Please?

Don’t you love it when you call a doctor’s office and you are immediately placed on hold? Yes, they ask you if it’s an emergency. No, it’s not an emergency, but it’s important. You kinda need an answer today. Then, you get disconnected. Your frustration builds as you call back . . . and are once again placed on hold.

Being placed on hold has to be one of the most frustrating things, right? The irony is as frustrating as it is to be placed on hold by someone else, we do it to ourselves all the time.

You have a goal you haven’t started working on. 

We are goal-driven creatures. We are always on the lookout for the next thing to conquer. It’s rooted in our psyche. Accomplishing goals equates to growth.

I’ll bet there is something that you’ve been meaning to get around to that you just haven’t started on. Maybe you love your job and your home life. Great, fine. That’s wonderful. But is there something that is lurking back in the shadows that you’ve placed on hold? 

I know for me there has been.

No one’s life is flat land, there are valleys and mountaintops. 

I’m tackling something I’ve really been struggling with for the past four years - weight gain.

I had been a strong, muscular, consistent weight woman for decades. Then . . . menopause, severe depression, and piles of injuries hit. What an absolute trainwreck!

This has absolutely nothing to do with how I feel about my chosen vocation, my home life, or the travel I engage in. All those things are fabulous. This is not just a vanity thing, this is my health. 

What I want to highlight in this newsletter is this: There are things in life we want to accomplish, but we place them on hold. 

Personally, my life has felt like a never ending stream of things that had to get done for the past four years, and I put my health on the back burner. 

There were times I wanted to get started but . . . 

• We moved to another city (then moved back)

• Our house is under construction

• My business is in its infancy

• I’m afraid of injuries

• It’s too f’ing hot

I recently had a come to Jesus conversation with myself. It was mostly one-sided, but here’s the basic transcript:

Michele 1: Girl, for the past four years you have been saying, “By the time I turn 50 I want to be in my best shape ever.” Then, yes, life’s shit hit the fan. Okay, fine. Then, it was, “By the time I turn 51, I want to be in the best shape ever.”  The same happened for 52. Then, your doctor told you that your weight and body fat gain put you in the obese category. Another year has passed. Now what?

Michele 2: I know . . . I’ve gained almost 25 pounds and my body fat has increased 15%+. It’s menopause. It really screwed me over. Ugh! I hate this. My clothes don’t fit, and I hate buying new ones. My energy is in the toilet, along with my self-esteem. I need to fix it.

Michele 1: How are you going to do that?

Michele 2: Argh! I just feel so overwhelmed! I’m afraid that working out won’t work . . . . I’ll get injured, again, or I just won’t be able to gain muscle. I’m afraid of failing. Plus, there’s a lot going on.

Michele 1: And you thought it would let up by now.

Michele 2: Exactly.

Michele 1: But it hasn’t.

Michele 2: Nope. As soon as one issue resolves, another fills its spot.

Michele 1: What do you want to do about it?

Weighing the Life I Have Against the Life I (Say I) Want

I believe two things that may seem in opposition:

1. You need to handle every situation with love.

2. You can’t allow yourself to be the person blocking your success.

I had to face the fact that waiting for life to slow down (whatever that means) was keeping me from being in good health.

I placed it on a scale.

The Life I Have:

Menopausal weight gain - 25 pounds, and 15%+ body fat. Per my doctor, I’m obese. Dented self-esteem. Clothes don’t fit. Feeling unhealthy, knowing that any fix won’t suddenly become easy.

The Life I Say I Want:

Back to a healthy weight (TBD), eating quality food that energizes me. Wearing clothes without feeling unfit. Feeling strong and able to exercise without getting out of breath.

My WHY:
I’ve researched the post-menopausal effects on a woman’s body, and we have an uphill battle to face. I want to make my second half the best it can be, and I must be in good health to make that happen. My decisions (what I eat, how I exercise) are 70%-80% of my health.

I can’t wait for . . .

• construction on my house to be complete.

• my business to be running at 100%. 

• my fear of injury to go away.

• Florida to cool down.

No one can go to the gym for me.

This wasn’t so much a realization as it was an admittance.

You can be committed to one area in life, while another area is neglected. This is life. What you are looking to achieve is harmony. 

My Rules for Me:

No attachments: 

• No mental beatdowns. 

• It’s okay if I miss a workout. 

• Stay committed, not obsessed (aka, perfect is the enemy of good).

Break the Cycle

You might be thinking, “Thanks for sharing, Michele, but what does this have to do with me?”

The point is we all have something we want to achieve in our lives that we have placed in a holding pattern for weeks, months, or even years. We reason it out: It’s in that holding pattern until other things get resolved . . . but here you are, still waiting.

Just start. That’s the point of this newsletter. 

I want to walk through a process of struggle with you.

And it’s a struggle, y’all! 

You have to forcibly break the cycle. It goes against your natural inclinations. It’s like turning your spinning wheel in the opposite direction when you hit ice, or swimming horizontally out of a rip current. Your brain doesn’t want to do it; it seems illogical. 

REMOVE ALL CONDITIONS.

Apply unconditional love to what you say you want to attempt. 

What does that look like? It looks like acceptance. Accept your current status. My current status is overweight. That’s a fact. It’s okay to accept reality. Don’t beat yourself up. Love yourself where you are today, and celebrate your resolve to start something new.

Baby Steps to Start

We are going to do this in baby steps.

Your Steps:

1. Find a journal or a blank piece of paper (or use the back of an envelope or your phone notes). fold the paper into two columns (or have two columns or rows in your phone notes).

2. Write out what you say you want to do in row/column #1. It doesn’t have to be specific right now. It can be messy. Just get it down.

3. Anytime a negative excuse or thought pops into your head, write it down in the other column/row.

4. By Sunday evening write one simple step you can take on Monday.

That’s it. Start on Monday. Do it. I don’t care if the step is so small that it seems inconsequential. 

Take that step. 

Move.

Do You Need Help Tapping Into Your Potential?

Are you struggling to meet your goals and wish you had support? Have you ever considered working with a coach? You may not know what a coach does.

One-on-One Coaching:

• You and I develop an individualized plan targeting your specific goals

• You receive individualized support from me

• Answers to your specific questions

• Guidance on your specific issues and blocks

• Accessibility to me outside coaching sessions for added support (individual texts and emails to check in)

• Your plan leads to learning how your personal growth is in your control

Are you ready to take action but are at a loss on what step to take next? 

I can teach you how to get started and accelerate your growth by using repeatable methods. Need the tools? I’ve got them. The goal is always to make you independent. I should be working myself out of a job. Once you take off, you may want to have a session from time to time, especially if you are scaling your goals. A good coach teaches you how to stand on your own two feet. Contact me today. Are you ready to CONNECT?