What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do

When was the last time you were lost?

It’s the worst feeling. Imagine you’re driving in your town in an area that is unfamiliar. You’re driving to a business you’ve never gone to, so you’re relying on GPS. Thank goodness for GPS, because you would be lost without it. 

The weather is a little squirrely and it starts to rain. Up ahead you see an orange sign. DETOUR. “Great,” you think. Frustrated, you follow the sign. The detour signs seem to be never ending. One turn leads to another. You are completely out of sorts now. You look at your GPS to see where the roads go, hoping to identify a way out of this mess. A possibility is three blocks ahead. You get to the road and . . . ROAD CLOSED. You go a block down . . . ROAD CLOSED. This continues, and it seems to be sending you outside city limits. The landscape has changed from residential to rural. You wonder if you’ve made a wrong turn? No one is around to ask. You realize that you were so focused on following the orange signs that you haven’t been paying attention to your surroundings. There are nothing but fields all around. You have no clue where you are. You obviously missed a turn somewhere. You look at your phone. No cell signal. You can feel yourself start to panic. For some reason, you don’t feel safe. You’re lost. 

The feeling of being lost is unsettling. You may be used to getting lost in a store (Did I turn the wrong way to get to the bathroom?), but it’s rare to be “I don’t know where the hell I am!” level of lost. Discomfort fills your insides.

You are lost.

When life is turned upside down and you don’t know which way to go, that dis-ease sits in the pit of your stomach.

This is when the urge to turn around and head back the direction you came hits you.

I know. I’ve been there.

I was in my late forties, and the prospect of starting over was terrifying. I started side hustles to test the waters:

• Ecommerce 

• Copywriting

• Resume Writing

• Business Consulting

I finally landed on coaching and content creation.

People always ask, “How did you know you could make money doing ecommerce (or copywriting, resume writing, business consulting)?”

The truth is, I didn’t.

I had never attempted to make money at any of those, but I tried and made money at all of them. 

I didn’t start with confidence, but I gained confidence.

Confidence is the result of perseverance.

It is a package of consistent trials, errors, and corrections.

I tried different things. I made mistakes - some big, some small. I made a lot of corrections.

Are you wishing to take a new direction in your life? Are you angling for a massive change or a minor adjustment? Maybe you see big things on the horizon, but your dreams require that you change course. Maybe you only need to tweak your current situation. Regardless, you feel lost concerning what to do next. You have no idea.

You are never truly lost. You can’t be. The answers you seek are within you. You feel lost, because you think the answers are outside you. You look for someone else to give you the answers. You sit and fret over not having the answers . . . and the cycle continues.

It’s enough to drive you crazy. I hear it all the time, “I have no clue what I want.”

The approach is simple, but it isn’t easy. You have to remove the conditions your mind sets on your freedom. Below, I break down steps to help you release your mind and identify your next major move or next immediate step.

Ask:

• Am I truly 100% void of any interests or ideas? 

• If money weren’t a factor, what course of action would I pursue?

• If I weren’t afraid of failure, what would I do?

• If I didn’t care what other people thought, what would I do?

• Is there something someone else does that interests me?

• What topics do I read about, what videos do I watch, what podcasts do I binge, etc?

The bottom line: How do you become interested in anything? You experience it. 

#1 Remove your biases. Don’t discredit interests or ideas as not being lucrative. If someone has made money at the idea you’re contemplating, you can, too. 

I am a Gary Vee fan. I learned about him through a YouTube series he did called Trash Talk. He would go to garage sales, buy something he knew had value for cheap and resell it on Mercari or eBay. It was so much fun to watch! That piqued my interest. I always enjoyed thrifting, but I didn’t know that people actually flipped it to make a profit. 

I joined online groups to get the skinny on the industry. Some people provided valuable insight, but a lot of people were there to complain. “This industry is oversaturated!” “The buyers are scammers!” “You’ll never be able to make enough to sustain yourself financially.” 

I focused on the resellers who were doing what I wanted to do successfully. I didn’t have the time or desire to listen to the people who were failing. My goal was to succeed. When I had an issue crop up, I looked for people who encountered a similar problem to find answers.  I didn’t listen to the people who justified why they couldn’t solve the problem. I sought out the people who overcame that problem.

#2 Take time to reflect. Take daily long walks without any distractions (aka, your phone) or meditate. Turn down mental noise. Journal. Writing your thoughts on a blank page does two things. 

1. It gets your thoughts out of your head and frees up your mental real estate.

2. Placing your words on a page gives you the opportunity to reflect.

#3 Explore and experiment. Connect to community. Interact with people who are doing what you are interested in doing. Attend meetups with people who have successfully implemented that idea you want to try. 

Sticking with my reselling example, I started watching YouTube videos of resellers. I think I received the equivalent  of a college degree in YouTube education. After several months of binge watching, I listed my first five items. This was the experiment. Within a week, one of them sold. I was hooked. 

If I had never experimented, I would have never discovered a new career that I enjoyed.

#4 Reintroduce play. Play is anything you do recreationally that excites you. Not necessarily swinging from monkey bars or climbing a tree like a kid, although do that if it sounds fun. As we cross the bridge of childhood into adulthood we abandon doing things for fun and replace them with responsibilities. 

Playtime may look like:

• Game nights

• Rock wall climbing

• Taking dance lessons

• Going on challenging hikes

• Learning a foreign language

• Playing an instrument or singing

The concept of play can . . .

• Reduce stress

• Free the mind to be creative

• Engage your sense of adventure

• Connect you to a new community of people

We take for granted the value of something so simple.

Play goes hand-in-hand with experimenting. Both remove the rigid conditions adults place on life. They are the keys to gaining confidence, because they remove the fear from risk. You’re just having fun trying out a little experiment.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

You must experience things to decide whether or not they appeal to you. You do it with everything. You try on clothes before you buy them. You try different foods to find out what you like. Figuring out what you want in life is no different. You read a new author or watch a different genre of movie to see if you like it. 

Here’s the truth of it: You had experiences all through school. If you went to college, you had more experiences. When you took a job somewhere, you had even more experiences. As you get older your opportunities for experiences dissipate. There is no parent, teacher, professor, or employer to place you in situations where you can explore and discover what life has to offer. You have to make those opportunities happen.

Engage in life. Create your own adventure. You were never lost.

Do You Need Help Tapping Into Your Potential?

Are you struggling to meet your goals and wish you had support? Have you ever considered working with a coach? You may not know what a coach does.

One-on-One Coaching:

• You and I develop an individualized plan targeting your specific goals

• You receive individualized support from me

• Answers to your specific questions

• Guidance on your specific issues and blocks

• Accessibility to me outside coaching sessions for added support (individual texts and emails to check in)

• Your plan leads to learning how your personal growth is in your control

Are you ready to take action but are at a loss on what step to take next? 

I can teach you how to get started and accelerate your growth by using repeatable methods. Need the tools? I’ve got them. The goal is always to make you independent. I should be working myself out of a job. Once you take off, you may want to have a session from time to time, especially if you are scaling your goals. A good coach teaches you how to stand on your own two feet. Contact me today. Are you ready to CONNECT?