Informed Consent: Who Owns Your Decisions?

I had the most cliché accident this weekend - I stepped on a rusty nail. It was totally preventable, so I was annoyed with myself for not removing the darn board adorned with the orangey-brown spikes of death from my path when I noticed it the day before. The incident quickly put an end to my perfect day playing in my garden while listening to some chill tunes. A trip to the MinuteClinic ensued after I smothered the blood flow of the sacrificed toe. 

The kind nurse ushered me into the office, where I relayed the events of the morning. 

“Unfortunately, it was a rusty nail, so I think a tetanus shot is in order,” I ventured. “I haven’t had one in about thirty years.”

“Oh, it’s been awhile,” she mused. 

I perused the paperwork as she entered my insurance information into the system. “So, we are going to administer the TDAP today.”

My ears perked up, “Is that the straight up tetanus?” I asked.

“It’s tetanus, diphtheria, and pertussis.”

“Oh . . . Is it possible to receive just the tetanus, please?” I had only intended to solve the immediate problem. 

The nurse didn’t know if one was in stock, so she took a gander. In the few seconds it took her I had already decided to gimp out and go elsewhere if it wasn’t available; however, it was. 

Then, a series of mandated questions. 

Have you ever had an adverse reaction to a vaccine? 

Have you ever passed out after receiving a vaccine? (Odd, but okay)

Have you ever experienced an allergic reaction to formaldehyde? (Excuse me?!?! Formaldehyde???)

Please sign and date here to give your consent to receive this vaccination today.

My husband and I chatted on our way to lunch and ice cream (my treat for not crying). “What the heck would I need a TDAP for? I mean, I’m not living in conditions where diphtheria is a concern. And, as far as pertussis goes, I’m not a child under one or an adult over 60, and my immune system is not compromised.” 

The  larger question that struck me, though, was, “How many people just accept what they’re told implicitly - no questions asked?”

This is more of a general query about anything and everything. And so, I pose it to you: How often do you accept things as they are presented without any question as to the validity or impact on your life in the short, medium, or long-term?

We all do it to some extent everyday. Saying, “Yes,” is far more convenient than questioning everything. But, at what point do we cross from general convenience over to personal responsibility?

I am 100% guilty. Life gets busy, and I don’t have the time (or desire) to research everything.

But . . . I’ve also worked in industries that have led me to be curious, questioning, and undoubtedly skeptical. 

I try my best to be an independent thinker. I don’t ask questions for the sake of being inquisitive but to gain understanding. If the answer to the question adds value to the decision being made, then the question should be asked. If a barrage of questions serves no purpose, I’ll leave it unsaid.

To question or not to question is based on a personal perspective that is rooted in previous knowledge, life experiences, and newly gathered information. A valid question posed by me may be pointless to you.

Thinking critically, aka HOTS. Higher Order Thinking Skills.

I have criteria that I loosely follow. The more direct impact a particular topic (or decision) has on my life or the life of my family, the more informed I choose to be. If something affects my physical, mental, or spiritual well-being (potentially creating or knocking me out of harmony) I will be drawn towards studying it.

For example, I view the food I eat as medicinal, preventative care, so I know a lot about food, herbalism, and the food industry. The quality of the food we eat has a direct impact on our physical and mental well-being. I stay abreast of topics such as food processing and industrial farming practices. I consider myself a critical thinker in this area, because it is rooted in my values. I value good health.

I’m sure there are topics that you study deeply out of natural curiosity or as the result of an experience. If a topic affects your physical, mental, or spiritual well-being (or that of your family’s), then I encourage you to give it your sincere, personal attention. No one (or nothing) else can know something for you.

One caution is against trusting systems implicitly and without question. Systems are created to streamline processes. The larger a system the more efficiency focused it is. Furthermore, you can almost always follow the efficiency rabbit hole to its origin - a dollar sign. Follow the flow of money, and you will see why systems such as the FDA or education are structured a particular way.

This newsletter is not to dive into the ins and outs of various industries and how they are driven by money. My intention is to direct you to a clear understanding that you are constantly and consistently being sold convenience. Free public education is convenient. Grocery stores are convenient. Gas stations are convenient. Fast food is convenient.

Anything convenient comes with a hefty (often invisible) price tag. Again, to analyze all effects would be a multi-hundred page book. The focus today is on independent thinking. If you engage in anything “convenient” on a regular basis, quickly assess the impact that convenience has on your physical, mental, or spiritual well-being. Are you adequately informed? Do you care to be?

When I taught, a major focus was (and still is) HOTS (higher order thinking skills). The educational system claims to support critical thinking. However, the structure of the educational system increasingly makes it impossible for students to have the exposure and time necessary to develop these skills. Why? Because there is a streamlined process and agenda (e.g., a series of objectives) that must be adhered to and completed within a specified amount of time, such as a semester or year.

If you have a student who does well in school and you provide additional enrichment outside the school day, then you probably didn’t even realize there is a growing crisis of critical thinking skills in our schools (and by extension, society).

You were born a critical and independent thinker. Maybe you retained that inquisitive, exploratory nature you displayed as a child, but maybe you’ve abandoned it in many areas of your life. Life got busier, so you’ve leaned on convenience. 

You are inundated with information everyday. Your phone creates a personalized bubble for your brain. If you haven’t noticed, when you have a discussion with someone about a particular interest, you will be served videos, ads, and pre-populated search queries based on that discussion. If you use “Hey, Siri” or “Okay, Google,” you are waking up your phone to listen in. Even if you don’t trigger your phone with those “wake words,” it is listening for keywords. FYI - it isn’t you who determines what keywords are being scoured. Every search you enter is cataloged and streamlines the data you are presented - all for convenience.

But I can’t research everything! You don’t have to be an encyclopedia of knowledge. Look at life from the inside out. How you live your life is grounded in a set of beliefs and values. These create the lens through which you view life outside you.

How to Engage Critical Thinking (HOTS):

You are the authority. I’m not suggesting you are the authority of all things, but I am emphatically stating that you are the authority on your life - what you value and what works best for you. 

There are times in my life when I’ve handed over authority to someone else, because I assumed they knew better than me. Maybe they did, maybe they didn’t. Now, my approach is to seek partnerships. I partner with my doctors to ensure I am in good health. I partner with information resources to keep me properly informed. I no longer just accept.

Turn off the tech. I turn my phone off each evening, at least a couple of hours before I go to bed. My laptop is shut down at the end of my workday. The difference removing tech before bed makes is astounding. I sleep soundly with no interruptions and wake up refreshed. My brain loves the TLC of consistent, restful sleep.

I know I can limit my tech time even more. I still have times during my workday when I find myself scrolling on my phone in lieu of trying to figure out a complex issue. I’m getting better, and I know that this is a piece of my journey.

I’m thankful that I am from the generation that straddled analog life and digital life. I remember a time before ever present tech - cell phones, laptops, and the constant need to be entertained. I can exist in both worlds, and I see the value of setting boundaries with technology.

Train your brain to think critically about information you consume. Said another way, engage your curiosity. If something can impact your physical, mental, or spiritual well-being, learn more before accepting the information or viewpoint. Be especially inquisitive if your values are influenced. Instead of allowing someone or something else “know” for you, know for yourself. 

Let’s take the news as an example. Don’t take anything at face value. News, like any other television show, relies on ratings. Television inundates the senses with emotion-driven headlines and videos. Take it as it is served up and you’ll be a nervous wreck 24/7. Research it a little and you’ll likely pull back the curtain on the theatrics.

I personally limit my time engaging with news. Here’s your reminder that research indicates that news (and its amplification on social media) can induce anxiety and stress, and its 24/7 format sets up a framework that overwhelms and desensitizes us.

Value alignment. In our CONNECT Deep Dive process we identify our core values, those things that ground us. Values can change, but they are deeply rooted. It takes something monumental to alter deeply held values. Knowing what you value and why you value it makes you more confident and assured. It creates harmony.  

Intentionally challenge your thinking. Mindfully engage in new topics and new information that may impact you. For example, I have a deep curiosity about AI. Depending on your perspective you may see it as a destroyer or creator of value. My process is to approach such ideas with curious neutrality. I am studying its implications on my chosen work, writing and creating content. I’m the one who decides if I use it to replace what I do or enhance. I choose not to automate my content creation. I use it to help me research, bring clarity to my texts, and effectively engage with platforms that promote my ideas.

Anything that pushes you to learn something new creates fresh neural pathways. The more challenging the endeavor, the more your brain lights up.

Spend time outside alone. I know I talk about practices like nature walks, meditation, and breathwork ad nauseum. Long walks in nature are simple, free, and invaluable. I cannot oversell the perfection of this simple practice. Practices that unplug the brain from its incessant chatter and objects that exacerbate that chatter (e.g., cell phones, laptops, televisions) are necessary. Silence is rest. Rest creates space for processing and organizing thoughts. 

Engage others. I trepidatiously suggest this, as many people have forgotten the art of engrossing conversations. My best conversations have been with friends who have different views about life than I do. Our talks are founded in sincere curiosity and they always end with new information gained. It is far easier to be offended than it is to be intrigued. We live in an easily offended world where curiosity is considered rude. That being said, if you have an acquaintance with whom you can engage in friendly banter, dive into deep topics. We don’t learn by osmosis. Life must be experienced.

The Individual

One of the many beautiful things about life is that each of us is a unique and divine creation. The life I live will never be replicated by another. The same for you. 

I learned a very important lesson during my burnout recovery - I am fully responsible for me. I value that responsibility and the control it avails to me. I’m hyper aware that decisions I make today can change the trajectory of my life. 

The same is true for you. Those small decisions you make - meeting that person for coffee, applying for that job, starting that business, changing your diet, learning that new skill - can change the trajectory of your life. 

You and I have the authority to fully own our lives. Each time you opt for the convenient, ready answer you hand over that authority. Who owns your decisions?

Do You Need Help Tapping Into Your Potential?

Are you struggling to meet your goals and wish you had support? Have you ever considered working with a coach? You may not know what a coach does.

One-on-One Coaching:

• You and I develop an individualized plan targeting your specific goals

• You receive individualized support from me

• Answers to your specific questions

• Guidance on your specific issues and blocks

• Accessibility to me outside coaching sessions for added support (individual texts and emails to check in)

• Your plan leads to learning how your personal growth is in your control

Are you ready to take action but are at a loss on what step to take next? 

I can teach you how to get started and accelerate your growth by using repeatable methods. Need the tools? I’ve got them. The goal is always to make you independent. I should be working myself out of a job. Once you take off, you may want to have a session from time to time, especially if you are scaling your goals. A good coach teaches you how to stand on your own two feet. Contact me today. Are you ready to CONNECT?