Just Because You’re Good at It Doesn’t Mean You Have to Pursue It

Several years back I was reading one of those free magazines that you pick up at the grocery store as you exit. It’s light reading and great for composting once it’s served its purpose. I used this particular issue to help lull me to sleep in the evenings. It never fails - as soon as I slip into bed, the weight and warmth of the covers combined with easily digested reading material puts me into a deep slumber.

I don’t remember too much about the contents of this flimsy magazine outside a single page in the middle situated on the right side, first column. I think the article had something to do with sage advice to younger selves. One sentence stood out to me:

Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you should do it.

The other words around this single sentence provided further context which, I’m sure, led to the sentiment being permanently imprinted in my mind. I felt restless in my career, but I was good at it. So, what did I do? I moved and continued my career in education, believing the change in environment would solve the problem. Unsurprisingly, it did not.

I experienced varying levels of burnout over the course of my career, and I misdiagnosed my symptoms as the sign to achieve more in my career. I would just pursue the next level. The relief I experienced from my new pursuits lasted about as long as an energy burst from a midday coffee.

Achieving more in my career never fulfilled me, and I finally figured out that it never would.

How often have you pursued something (i.e., a career, project, goal) because you had the natural aptitude (but not the desire)? Does it feel “flat” and unfulfilling after the new pursuit smell wears off? Do you feel the need to “kick things into high gear” or press yourself to achieve more? Do you deride yourself for not being passionate about things you are skilled (whether naturally or through experience and learning) at doing?

Why do we pursue things when we really have no interest?

There is no single answer to that question, but it’s a question worth investigation. It starts with our thoughts, especially those that play automatically and unconsciously in the background. 

Give yourself permission to let go of your attachment to “I can do this, so I should.”

I don’t know if you’ve experienced this, but I was guilty of seeing myself as a title, a role. I was a teacher and principal. I honed a set of skills to do those jobs. 

I started to wonder, maybe my interests were based on my skills and not so much on my job. I love planning, organizing, teaching, writing . . . but did that mean I had to be a teacher? No.

Fortunately, I’d worked in other fields (finance, pharmaceuticals, theatre), so I knew my skills could translate to careers other than education. I shifted my relationship with my skills and gained some much needed perspective.

I did a skill audit.

• Actor/Director = public speaking, sales, presentations, memorization, vision-to-reality

• Teaching = training, curriculum development, presentations, data analysis, setting/achieving targets

• Project Manager = budgeting, data analysis, interviewing (stakeholders), planning, scope/sequence, meeting deadlines, developing processes to enhance efficiency

This simple task reminded me that I was not my job. I was a person who had experiences and a host of skills and abilities.

I experienced this scenario with a client a few weeks ago who was desperately looking for a job. During our conversation something she said caught my attention. “Well, I found this one job that I would love to apply for, but I don’t think they’ll hire me. I could go back into real estate, something related. I know how to do it, and I’m good at it.”

“But is that what you want?”

“Not really, but I need a job.” She sounded resigned.

“Can we back up for a minute. Tell me about that job you’d love to apply to.”

“It’s a management position, so I don’t think I have a chance. I don’t have any management experience.”

“So?” I asked.

“They’re requiring three years of management experience.”

I pressed her on her assumption. “Yes, but you have experience in the field, and I would argue that you do have management experience even if you never held that title. Let’s review your resume.” 

We tore apart every position she’d ever had and identified an enviable list of management level experiences. I coached her on how to respond to interview questions she might encounter.

“You’ve got it!” I told her. “You just need to believe it. You have experience in everything they’re looking for. I think you’re the perfect candidate.”

The next day she contacted me to share that she’d made it through round one and she was on her way to round 2. A week later she landed her dream job.

My client wasn’t her job. And you aren’t your job (or any other role you play in life).

You possess a collection of skills that can be used in unlimited combinations to get what you want. Add in your personality, and what comes out is a highly specialized individual. 

It’s your responsibility to build confidence in what you offer. Use this information to see yourself as resourceful and limitless. When you do that, you’ll understand that you can be whoever you wish.

Sending you all Peace, Love, & Harmony.

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