Knowing When to Say Goodbye

Today was my final newsletter.

After two and a half years of writing weekly I’ve been experiencing a struggle with what to write and to whom. I’m sharing this with you, because we all come to junctures in life where we question what to do. Hang tough? Quit? Pivot? Transform?

I’m sharing this with you, because these struggles permeate into all areas of life—work, home, relationships, and what the hell to make for dinner after a long day.

The inner conflict we feel when facing big problems doesn’t lie in the problem itself; it lies in making (and committing to) a choice. Psychologist Ellen Langer says, “Rather than waste your time being stressed over making the right decision, make the decision right.

How often do you, like I, belabor a decision? Do you spend hours, days, months, or more wondering, “What will happen if I do or I don’t? How will it all turn out? I think I need to think about this more.” It’s a frustrating looped track we place ourselves on.

It isn’t the decision that’s the hard part; it’s the indecision. You will never gather all the information you think you need to feel comfortable or right before making a choice. And, I’m talking about the larger looming decisions in life.

Will I move across country?

Will I quit my job?

Will I start my own business?

Will I shutter my business’s doors?

Will I change my lifestyle to live healthier?

So, you make a decision. Then what? You must commit. Commitment determines success. And not a loose, rolling around in your head kind of commitment. No. Focused, present-minded commitment. Commitment today, and rededicating to that commitment when the next day comes (and the next).

I used “will” above and not “should.” Why? Try repeating all those sentences with “should.”

“Should” allows you to sit on the fence of indecision. Should I quit? I don’t know. What will happen if I do? What will happen if I stay? I need to think about this more. Then, when you finally make a decision, you reflect on the other choices you discarded and wonder if it was the “right” choice.

The absolute worst thing we can do (that we often do) is add more choices. This is the opposite of what your brain needs to make a successful decision. Every choice you place on the table is another rabbit hole for your mind to explore. Variety in choices exponentially increases the complexity of the decision to be made.

“Will,” on the other hand, has no fence. Will I quit? Either I do, or I don’t.

This does not mean to abandon preparedness. By all means, please make preparations for any life-changing decisions (not that my newsletter is life changing; it’s just a springboard for this conversation).

Here is the mindset shift I’m proposing: Start with the decision, then make a plan. Trust that you already know what you want to do. You do.

Everyone I’ve met that says they’re thinking about quitting their job wants to quit their job. They just don’t know how to do it without starving and losing housing. They spend years daydreaming about going into a different field or starting their own business . . . but they never plan it.

So, what is a life-shift decision you haven’t made? Are you stuck in the muck of woulda, coulda, shoulda? I challenge you to reframe it as a yes or no decision. Write it down. Pen and paper, no typing. It’s like a middle schooler passing a note to a potential boyfriend or girlfriend, “Will you date me? YES? NO?” You can only circle one. Then, start coming up with a plan.

In my last newsletter I mentioned a conversation with a business owner who says she wants to expand, but she doesn’t have a plan.

I’ve written ad nauseum about the 92% of people who never achieve their goals. Another statistic is that 97% of people do not have clear, defined goals written down. Do you see the correlation? And those same people wonder why they never get what they want out of life.

I find that the “trick” to success is coupling planning and action. The two do not perform well in silos, they must be married. That means a commitment to both. Plan well and execute often.

Where does this leave this newsletter? Will I quit? YES or NO (circle one).

I hovered over both for a moment. I asked, “Why would I quit?” Lack of time. Life’s more than a little busy as I nurture my e-commerce business. It must take center stage.

Next question, “Why would I continue writing?” Number one? You, my readers. My open rate is almost 50% (which is high for a newsletter). Plus, I love writing about living life intentionally through mastering your mindset. I 100%+++ believe that living life on your terms is largely determined by your mindset. And I think you believe that, too.

I’m not quitting, but I am making changes. I can’t write quality newsletters weekly while working crazy hours to make my business successful. Also, I refuse to become an AI writer. The thought of it stabs my soul with a pixelated quill pen.

Don’t misunderstand me, AI has a lot to offer when it comes to being more efficient. I use it to improve my business practices and takeover menial tasks that are time consuming. However, relying on it to do things like write my newsletter removes authentic human connection.

Being human—flawed, inconsistent, unsure, curious, emotional—is the heart and soul of CONNECT. All that to say that I will continue CONNECTing with you every second and fourth Saturdays of the month. This bi-weekly schedule allows me space to expand my business while continuing to write this newsletter for as long as you’ll read.

Your challenge this weekend (today or tomorrow): Write down a decision you’re struggling to make as a “Will I . . .” statement. Circle the answer you’re drawn to without asking a bizillion questions. Then, start making a plan. Keep it simple, my friend.

As always, I’m sending you all Peace, Love, & Harmony.

-Michele

P.S. - See the paragraph below. If you have any interest in e-commerce, I’d love to have you check out the YouTube channel.

Join CONNECT-collective on YouTube and LinkedIn!

I would love to have you as part of the CONNECT-collective community on our other platforms. If you are a solopreneur or entertaining starting your own solo business, I invite you to check out CONNECT-collective on YouTube! and LinkedIn! I talk about starting solo businesses to escape your 9-5 while avoiding burnout. I would love to see you there!

Sending you all Peace, Love, & Harmony!

-Michele

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