Where Are My People?

Working in a Vacuum

Support comes in many forms, and it is a necessary part of your success. Support can look like family, friends, or work colleagues.

When you work outside your home you join a group of people who are working toward a common goal. When I was in education our common goal was educating children. Each person played their own part, but we worked together as a single unit.

When I left my job in education, I didn’t just lose my sense of identity. I also lost the camaraderie of the students, teachers, and parents I saw every day. And, I lost that bonding commonality. 

Today, I work in a vacuum - a team of one.

We are social creatures. Even the most introverted of us needs to be in the company of other people regularly. When you set out to accomplish a goal there are a number of factors that guide you to success. We talk about these all the time - you have to know what you want, why you want it, and how you are going to get it. It’s a simple process. Simple but not necessarily easy to execute.

One you get crystal clear on the what and why, then you tackle the how. How you accomplish something is your plan. Part of your plan is identifying your support system.

Your support system has layers to it, like a multi-layered decadent slice of cake. Cheerleaders and accountability partners are layers of support. Your family and friends can be cheerleaders, and they may serve as accountability partners. But, the support you need to add into the mix is someone who is doing something similar to you. Someone on a similar path.

Connecting with a group of like-minded people is a huge benefit. They understand what you’re doing on a level that family and friends can’t. 

However, such support is not always readily available. What do you do then?

The Human Touch

First, let’s look at what you get from this type of support. Then, we are going to create a copycat recipe, if you will. 

The reason we feel enveloped in a cozy hug when we are physically surrounded by people on the same journey as us is because . . . biology. Yes, biology. We have a lot of research to support this, an influx of it occurring during and after our not too distant quarantine.

I worked from home during that time. Did you? I also completed coursework for a certification. I could do it, I did it, but it was . . . lacking, you know? There was a barrier. Even when I talked to people via video I felt disconnected. I had to supplement the experience.

When you communicate with people 55% of your communication is interpreted through body language. Your tone of voice (what you say and how you say it) accounts for another 38%. What you put in writing closes out the remaining 7%. This is why in-person, face-to-face communication wins out over all other forms. 

Then, there are the brain chemicals and hormones that are released and balanced when we are surrounded by people - oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins. This cocktail of chemicals is responsible for: 

• building rapport

• regulating your mood

• bonding to other people

• overall sense of well-being

• creating a sense of belonging

• reduction in anxiety and stress

• motivation to overcome challenges

Separation from other people increases stress, anxiety, and depression. It also impedes your ability to socialize. I went to a networking event not too long ago and it was tragic (hyperbole). I felt like I had encountered humans after being shipwrecked on a deserted island for years, and I had no clue how to communicate.

Let’s say that you, like me, work in a vacuum. How do you recreate that water cooler kumbaya experience?

If possible, find a local group of people who have similar goals to yours. Search Google, Facebook, and local blogs or newspapers for meetups. You can even start your own meetup. In–person is always the most effective choice, if a quality group is available to you.

If that’s not available to you, I have a copycat recipe for you to try. There are a couple different components that you’ll have to piece together. 

There’s a Hack for That

There is a reason why bloggers and other online solopreneurs are often spotted hanging out in coffee houses. Okay, a couple different reasons: (1) The free internet connection and (2) to be around other people. This is the most important part. Find your Cheers location where everybody knows your name.

Pair this regular hangout with online resources. Take a course with an online community, join Discord groups, or become active on social media (X or FB). As you become active on social media you will build relationships, and you can find a group of people that you connect with on a deeper level.

Here are ways I have used this successfully:

• Copywriting Community + Local Hangouts: I signed up for a copywriting course that had an active community. I formed a mastermind with three other writers. We supported one another by providing feedback on the pieces we wrote. This communication was 100% by messaging and email, so the human element was lacking. I found local businesses where I could write. Feeling the energy of other people around me was inviting. Even though I didn’t know anyone, I still felt I was a part of a community. I could bond with people by just being around them.

• Online Yoga Certification + Local Studios: I completed my 300hr yoga teacher training online. After the quarantine was lifted I returned to teaching yoga classes, as well as attending them. But, I also attended live webinars and yoga classes with my fellow yogis. I built relationships with people involved in my online program while maintaining my connection to local studios and teachers.

• Online Creator Course + Local Venues and Workshops: Most recently, I’ve been participating in a video academy for content creators. I’m actively involved in the Facebook community, and I’ve made connections with content creators through our monthly meetings. Those connections have led to video calls with creators from around the world. For the human connection I film at local venues and teach workshops.

I can only tell you what has worked for me and what I teach others. This two-pronged approach builds the relationships necessary to support and elevate your goals and dreams. It is up to you to be active. If you expect this approach to work for you, then you must be willing to engage with people online. 

I have support from my family, my friends, and my husband. I have a lot of people who support what I’m trying to do, but they don’t necessarily understand it. Maybe you are experiencing something similar. That support system can cheer us on, but they can’t help us grow. Form a support web that supports your education, in addition to your social-emotional needs.

Remember, there is always a way. If you have a block, there are solutions. Be open to creative answers to your challenges, and keep moving forward.

Do You Need Help Tapping Into Your Potential?

Are you struggling to meet your goals and wish you had support? Have you ever considered working with a coach? You may not know what a coach does.

One-on-One Coaching:

• You and I develop an individualized plan targeting your specific goals

• You receive individualized support from me

• Answers to your specific questions

• Guidance on your specific issues and blocks

• Accessibility to me outside coaching sessions for added support (individual texts and emails to check in)

• Your plan leads to learning how your personal growth is in your control

Are you ready to take action but are at a loss on what step to take next? 

I can teach you how to get started and accelerate your growth by using repeatable methods. Need the tools? I’ve got them. The goal is always to make you independent. I should be working myself out of a job. Once you take off, you may want to have a session from time to time, especially if you are scaling your goals. A good coach teaches you how to stand on your own two feet. Contact me today. Are you ready to CONNECT?