Permission to Change Your Mind

It’s okay if you change your mind about the direction you’re going, in business or in life, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation . . . outside yourself.

Life is going to life.

Sometimes you’re headed into one career but feel pulled towards another. Sometimes that person you thought would be your best friend doesn’t jibe with your personality. Sometimes you start a business that’s not flowing and feels restrictive. Sometimes you move to a place you don’t enjoy no matter how hard you try. 

This is life.

And it’s life’s lessons. 

The conflict in these instances (not problems, issues, or situations) is our choice to remain in them. You may have heard the phrase, “Let go of what no longer serves you.” It’s kinda like that.

You don’t have to stay in a career that doesn’t fit, regardless of the years you studied or the time you’ve invested. The same is true of that friendship, business, or town.

How many of the things we call problems, issues, and situations are the result of our insistence to remain attached?

The overthinking that happens during these times reaches maximum capacity. Right?

“Everyone will be disappointed if I leave my career. Plus, I’ve been in it for years. I’ve climbed the ranks, and I have my benefits to consider.”

I’m not saying that there aren’t things to mindfully consider; however, that’s usually where the consideration stops. You think about the salary and benefits, and then you stay. Sure, you may still complain about how you’d rather be in a different career, but the gap between here and there is too wide. You’ll just stay where you are.

Consider that you could do a slow roll out of one career into another. People (a minority) do it all the time. They go to school at night or take online courses on the weekends. The majority of people will stay in a career that’s unfulfilling.

Relationships with people can be tricky. Usually, you just grow apart. Staying in contact becomes less of a priority. But if we insist on making contact, the connection (no matter how loose) is still there.

Solo businesses can become money pits, and the effort it takes to move dissuades most.

There is a word that kept coming up in my research of why we stay in conditions not conducive to our best interests—obligation.

We feel obligated to stay in that career, relationship, business venture, town. The ironic thing is that you and I set the criteria of those obligations. All the “musts,” “shoulds,” and “have tos” come from our own minds.

If we feel boxed in by life, it’s because we picked out the cardboard, taped it together, and one leg at a time stepped into it before closing the top and sealing it with tape from the inside.

Hmmmmm . . . What do we think we’re doing by implementing these self-inflicted obligations?

Sometimes we believe we’re saving ourselves (this job is reliable and pays my bills, this person helps me when I need someone, this town has everything I need to live).

Sometimes we believe we’re saving others (they depend on me at this job, this person doesn’t have any other friends, I’m involved in the community).

It’s a false sense of security though. False because it isn’t real. You’re pretending to be all in.

This isn’t where I step in with a plan to navigate these self-imposed obligations. I’m experiencing these things, as well. Life is gonna life, y’all.

I want to close with a story that held a lesson for me.

Last year I attended a friend’s weeklong wedding with all the pre-wedding festivities that went with it. It was loads of fun. 

There were multiple friend groups that all knew one another, but each kept to themselves. One evening, after a large influx of people arrived, people started peeling off to go their different ways. One group was going to a show, another to an escape room, another to a gameroom.

I wanted to spend time with people, but I was exhausted. I felt obligated to join in on every festive event that was planned.

I voiced my frustration over not knowing what to do to a close acquaintance. “I don’t know what to do. I’m tired, but I want to hang out with everyone. What are you doing, John?”

John is a very self-confident person about eighteen years my junior. He took me by both shoulders, looked me in the eye and said, “Here’s the cool thing, Michele. You’re an adult. You can do whatever you want to do.”

He had no way of knowing that his words hit me at a different level. 

How often do we commit to things in life because we have convinced ourselves we must? We’ve repeated the reasons why we continue to stay and engage for so long that we believe they are true. And if something is true, then it must be accepted. We’ve confused our made up thoughts for the truth. Funny how our little human brains do that.

Be mindful, be smart, be conscientious.But don’t be obligated.

Because here’s the cool thing. You’re an adult. You can do anything you want to do.

Join CONNECT-collective on YouTube and LinkedIn!

I would love to have you as part of the CONNECT-collective community on our other platforms. If you are a solopreneur or entertaining starting your own solo business, I invite you to check out CONNECT-collective on YouTube! and LinkedIn! I talk about starting solo businesses to escape your 9-5 while avoiding burnout. I would love to see you there!

Sending you all Peace, Love, & Harmony!

-Michele

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